On Having Left the Ledge...

One often reaches a point in ones’ life when one stands on the edge of a precipice looking down to a deep chasm and across to a sea of other ledges. Such a point was reached a little over 9 months ago when my husband and I picked up everything and moved half way across the country. We quit our jobs, sold off all of our furniture (save one computer chair), packed up the cat and left. My husband viewed it as the next logical progression in our lives as a couple and as people in general. We had been priced out of the bay area and needed to live somewhere better within our means. In my eyes I had just jumped off a cliff knowing I would land somewhere but had no idea where that was or how long the fall would last.

I landed two weeks ago.

For as long as I can remember I had fought who I am. I have done as was expected and what was expected of me and thusly have suffered. My whole life feels as though it has been governed by others. Now I am taking ownership.

So when one has no where to go but up, when one has nothing to lose and so much to gain, what does one do? One takes up acting. I have always loved acting and performing on stage. I thought I was too old to begin; having wasted so much of my young acting years on other endeavors. But that is just the voices of doubt in my head.

So what did I do? What was I to do? I went on an audition. It was nothing fancy or big but it was a start. I auditioned for the role of Clytemnestra in a local theatre’s rendition of Elektra. There were two auditions, one dance and one acting and I went to both. I was partly out of my mind but I went in with the intention that if I got even a minuscule two second part it would be grand and if I did not then at least I got the ball rolling. I tweaked my back out in the dance portion of the audition (partly because I had not danced like that in far too many years to count) but not for lack of warming up. The following day I returned for the reading of the role of Clytemnestra. I was nervous and while I think I did well I know I can do much better. I did not get a call back, I got much more. I have a new found confidence and took the first step. What’s next? Well this Girl has to go find a job and get the cash flow coming in again and once that is complete then on to head shots.

I have a goal that by the end of the year I will be ready to move forward and take on the acting and modeling scene of Austin and then some. Why the end of the year? Because everyone makes new years resolutions? Yes and No. It will be the end of the year but I will also be one year older and there is no better time than now.

Or at least 38 days from now.